First Farewell

The time has come for me to return home. I do not know how I feel about it all. I miss my family and friends, but this experience has given me a whole new set. I have visited the places I had only read about in my books.. from Florence's David, Italy's Cinque Terre, Paris's Eiffel Tower and Louvre, London's Big Ben, Athen's Acropolis, and the Netherlands to see Corrie Ten Boom and Anne Frank's house.. to name a few. I have been to 7 countries, attempted to speak 5 languages, and stood in two places at one time. I have climbed up churches, towers, mountains, and windmills. I have walked where the Apostle Paul, James Bond, literary artists, famous sculptors and painters, Romans and Greeks.. have walked. I have gone on eleven different flights, been thrown up next to while in transit... twice, slept in a small euro van with seven people (in the drivers seat which I did not know how to lean back), and seen a tram/bike/car accident. I have hiked and bungee jumped over a lake in the Swiss Alps, crashed a German wedding, driven across France, explored an ice castle, cliff dived, rode quads across an island, biked all over Europe, and mastered public transportation. I have ridden metro's in the heat of summer, forgotten to ask bus drivers to stop, and gotten lost on the trams. I have worn all my clothing in an airport, dragged my luggage across many different cities.. including some that only offered stairs, had a bus follow me with everyone pointing me where to go, attempted to get directions from people who spoke no English all the while accidentally having my shirt unbuttoned, had my computer break down and consequently now have a new computer with a French keyboard, and had my first experience of being pick pocketed. I swam in Lake Geneva, the Aegean, and the Mediterranean. I have eaten more cheese, bread, and chocolate than any person should eat in a lifetime. I learned about numerous cultures and became friends with so many different types of people. I visited old friends and lived with new ones.

I was able to speak and debate with people in international organizations. I was able to be taught by some amazing professors. I was loved and accepted. I was challenged. In the words of my Professor Leo, "the past 30 days in Geneva consider you endured 27 eighty-minute lectures; 13 two-hour international agency visits (sometimes longer); 4 mission visits (twice to the U.S. Mission); 5 tours; 3 days and two nights in Jungfrau; a day-visit to CERN, a meeting at the Geneva City Hall;and 7 hours of crisis group presentations. This of course does not include the time you spent doing the class readings; time in the libraries, one-on-one appointments with agency officials; visits to waste energy plants; preparing the crisis groups, special sessions you organized and riding public transit to and from meetings." I think that sums up Geneva.

I learned about and worked with people that are suffering. I will never forget the things I saw in Greece. I know what true bondage looks like. I have seen the destruction of hope reflected in a precious person's eyes. This memory has been burned into my mind forever.  I have found my passions. I saw and felt pain that cannot be described. I felt joy and peace that surpasses comprehension. I fell in love with traveling . I found who I was in so many ways that are too personal to write. Is it possible to grow up in a matter of two months? I will never again be the same.

More then ever I believe that the most important thing next to loving God in life is loving people. I think this is God's heart. He is a lover of life.. He is a lover of people. I want to do that my whole life. I want to never be inhibited by fear or held back by doubts. I want to live a vibrant and abundant life. I want to stumble and fall...  I want to be lost and then found. I think a beautiful life is an imperfect life... who can see God through man's "perfection" anyways?  I want to live a life that glorifies the Lord even in my mistakes and weaknesses. Hope. I want to bring hope and joy to every person I meet. My heart overflows with all these wants and desires. This is one of my favorite quotes..

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

I am so blessed by my parents and everyone who helped me get here. Thank you. I could go on and on.. No doubt I will probably write another part to my goodbye to Europe when I get home and have more time to reflect... but for now.. this is my goodbye.

Because I never posted pictures...Greece.

Cute donkey herder old men.

Omonia.. the area in Athens that the office was in.

We counted how many stairs we would walk in a day... around 800 give or take a few. 

Santorini Has the most beautiful sunsets.

This is Peg... She became my second mom and best friend on this trip. P.S. We are outside the sold out Avita opera at an ancient Colosseum below the Acropolis that we got in for free... Thank you Cella and thank you Jesus.

Lots of street musicians.. she is below the Acropolis. I loved hearing the music.

I people watch... so cute.

In Corinth... walking on the ancient main road.. the EXACT road Paul would have walked.

Part of the team

Mars Hill with the Acropolis in the back. 

We went to Aegina for down time... and bike riding :-)

The team on top of the Acro Corinth.. where the temple of Aphrodite once stood.

I could not take pictures on the streets with what we were doing.. but I think this sums up what its like.  Taken on my way home from our office.

Prayer and Worship before going out.

My Amendment

So I have been doing research on policy regarding trafficking and prostitution. Surprisingly (or not) there is not much framework within the UN or even many countries dictating a good way of dealing with trafficking. Implementation of any government policy at a local level is even more sparse. As stated previously, I have been looking at how Sweden made it illegal to visit a prostitute. In my zealous state of wanting justice for girls in prostitution, I took off any responsibility that the prostituted women have. The law essentially still makes prostitution legal which is not a place I would want to go. Prostitution should never be considered a business. Although I see that in a lot of ways, the Swedish law makes trafficked victims better able to come forward about their plight by taking the fear of prosecution away, but it has decriminalized the institution of prostitution. I think they thought that without customers the women would be at a lesser risk to be prostituted. In some ways, I think this is true, but trafficking is part of the black market driven by organized crime.. the allowance for one to be a "prostitute" still allows for traffickers to skate around the legal framework. This idea makes it a business.. where the pimps are not responsible.. just the purchasers. I asked a friend what he thought about this and he said that it "was like drug dealers who could deal drugs without penalty."

It hurts sometimes to own and put into perspective that the women who do have a choice to be in prostitution (even if they have been abused etc) are still doing something that is wrong. I so always want to protect them, but I forget that are consequences of ones actions. There has to be a standard of truth to be followed. At some point, I cannot keep falling back on the trauma that led to the woman resorting to prostitution as an excuse for their actions. There has to be some acceptance of personal responsibility. I can have compassion for their plight, but I cannot condone their choice. Its a hard concept to grasp, but I do think its important. I think what makes it hard is the idea of prostitution even really being a choice. What choice did the girl who was raped by her father growing up and thrown out on the streets have? Sometimes the distinction between trafficked and choice becomes very blurry. Is exploitation a choice?

Besides, a pimp or trafficker should be on the top of the list of the ones to prosecute. In regards to the law, it could very well make it easy for the traffickers or pimps say that they were not doing anything wrong.. essentially passing the blame over to purchasers and vindicating them from responsibility. I do believe there needs to be a shift in the focus from prosecuting those that are prostituted and exploited to focusing on the pimps and buyers.. in all this I do believe that prostitution should never be legalized.

So many different thoughts.. sometimes its hard to put them all into order. I will keep writing, but please be patient with me because I am still processing. I may need to amend some statements as I go.

Wouldn't it be nice to be all knowing? The joining of responsibility, consequences, grace, mercy, compassion, justice, law, and absolutes is a hard one. My brain definitely is at war with itself many times. Often, the clash of emotional response and logic is hard to navigate. I have a lot of questions for the God that is fully capable of being all these things at the same time. How much harder would it be to try to understand anything without a godly worldview or a framework stemming from a God of absolute Truth? Or lacking any worldview or framework at all? You know the saying "so open minded your brains fall out". I would probably say it is more like "so open minded.. that your brain has lost any capacity to hold a stance because it has collapsed due to the complete chaos and constant conflict".

If I have not Love

So there is something that has been on my heart that I have wanted to say. Its going to be short and simple. I am not trying to spark a debate or to even argue my point. It is not my purpose in writing this. I only want to express what I have seen of God's sovereignty while I have been abroad.

God is not bound by our theologies or intellectual perception of who He is. We serve a relational God who we must see as whole; as being everything He says He is.. even when it does not make sense. It is because our human minds fail to completely ad fully understand God that the relational aspect is so important.

In regards to salvation, I can only tell you this.

I have helped with the orphanages in Mexico. I have been to the slums in Jamaica. I have been apart of medical clinics in villages in Indonesia. I have met with ambassadors, missionaries, and leaders of international organizations. I have worked in the US court system. I have worked with prostitutes in Greece. In all this, I can tell you one thing, God is love. This is what I know of Him from scripture and from our friendship. He is just and sovereign, but his sovereignty is not limited to His divine right to choose, but is expanded by His love and as a direct reflection of that love, His gift of personal choice.


Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing. *1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Legality?

As I have been studying sex slavery and human trafficking, a few questions keep coming to mind. Why has human trafficking risen so much in recent years? Why is sex slavery so predominant? I mean this atrocity is pretty much detested across political and religious lines. It goes beyond the pimps and the traffickers. It goes beyond just "sex slavery". What is the root cause? It is the legalization and acceptance of prostitution. It is our culture. Culture has created a demand for it. Our culture has become so sexualized. Porn and the objectification of women being at the forefront. We have perverted what it means to be a man. The role of man has been lost. The importance of that role has been diminished.

In Greece, I profoundly felt this. When I looked at the girls in the streets, I knew that the majority of the people who put them there were men. The ones going after their services were men. I am not going to bash on men here. I did not have feelings that men are despicable, but rather I saw the importance of men.
Prostitution and sex slavery is a direct result of the perversion of the role that God has placed men in.
It does not even have to be Christian men, but men as a whole. I think there are standards and an intrinsic order to how God has set up the world. You do this.. this happens. Men I believe are meant to love and directly from that love.. to protect. Respect is an act of love. What happens when a boy is not taught to respect women? What happens when we take away a man's role as a leader and a protector? I am not saying that women are inferior or weaker and meant to be subordinate to all men. I am saying that I believe men have a duty to protect and to be I guess for lack of a better words.. warriors..fighters. What happens when society castrates men? It is agreed upon that a man that uses and abuses a woman is not really a man. How does this change when it comes to prostitution or even porn? Sexual exploitation is sexual exploitation. Why is it when you see a girl who is struggling through life.. it is always said.. Oh she has dad issues? Families are falling apart, children are hurting, and our country suffers because of the lack of knowledge of what it means to be a real man. Women are definitely not off the hook. Who do you think castrated half these men? Who has detested the role of men? Who has diminished and lessened the importance of real men? Ladies, I would like you to raise your hands. In our quest to be "equal" we forgot that we are different. Taking control of your sexuality.. what a joke.. you just made it easy to be used.. and ten dollars says that at the end of the day some part of you still hurts. Making a man respect you is as much for you as it is for him. Teaching and demanding a boy to respect women and girls is of the utmost importance. This becomes hard when there is no Dad to display that, but I do believe mothers have alot of say in the matter. Once again, we come back to the importance of a good father. Some fathers pass away, but they were good, as long as they were good. Because a father will flavor the kind of man that boy will become.

Sorry for my incomplete tangent.

Sweden actually made it illegal to visit a prostitute. They did not make it illegal to be a prostitute in order to shift the prosecution to the men. They figured if they cut the demand by prosecuting the users.. there would be a reduction of sex slavery. And it worked. Prostitution is a direct link to sex slavery. Where prostitution is legal.. sex slavery abounds. Gunilla Ecksberg was a leading woman in the implementation of the legislation in Sweden. She terms prostitution as male violence against women. This is the angle at which she attacked human trafficking and sex slavery.

"If prostitution is male violence against women, then it is a crime and consequently, there is a perpetrator. So, we need to focus on all the perpetrators in the debate on prostitution, not just the traffickers or the pimps, but the immediate perpetrator – the man who commits the prostitution act on the prostituted woman who is no different than a rapist."

The whole choice thing.. when does any girl really have a choice?

"They boil prostitution down to individual choice. If you analyze choice you recognize that choice is only possible if you choose from equal alternatives. You have to distinguish between making a decision and having a genuine choice....Pimps, traffickers, and buyers as sex tourists go to countries where women exist in oppressive social, political, legal and economic contexts or where there have been armed conflicts or natural catastrophes...to recruit and purchase women and girls into the prostitution industry. And when you look at prostitution/trafficking within countries, it’s the same thing. Men exploit the fact that women are marginalized/oppressed for different reasons e.g.. their victims may be girls who’ve run away from home because they’re being raped by their fathers or other male relatives, or women who are vulnerable due to drug use, leaving battering husbands etc."

The whole glitz and glamour of prostitution is a lie. Let us talk about the act of prostitution and its effects on society.

" Second Question: What do men do to women in prostitution? The pro-prostitution lobby will never answer the second question. They talk about how it’s dangerous to be prostituted on street corners because you risk being murdered, and how much better women will fare in legal brothels, but they never talk about the actual prostitution act that the buyers do to the women: the penetration, the touching, the humiliation. And this is the same wherever women and being prostituted. If they would talk about the prostitution act and understand profoundly the harm of prostitution, their whole analytic context would fall apart. It’s easy to talk about health standards and gynecological exams, but when we talk about the actual prostitution act, they can’t handle that and have no arguments.
The third question is: (3) What are the effects of prostitution on the women in prostitution as well as society at large? Prostitution doesn’t just have individual impacts on women in prostitution. It impacts all women in that society. If you have a country that thinks it’s appropriate and acceptable that women are to be for sale then you normalize the idea that men have the right to buy and sexually exploit not just a particularly marginalized subclass of women, but all of us."

This woman is very obviously a strong feminist. I am not a feminist or rather I think in christian communities we do not like to use that word. But Jesus I believe was the first feminist. In that he brought great amount of respect and love for women. He cherished them. Especially those like Mary Magdelene who had been so rejected and hurt in life. I mean what is the commandment that the Lord gave to husbands. To LOVE their wives. How wonderful. To LOVE. What a great God we serve. Women were meant to be loved. Prostitution. Sex slavery. This is a perversion of mans love.

If you would like to read Gunilla Ecksburgs interview here it is: http://action.web.ca/home/catw/readingroom.shtml?x=124788

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Ephesians 5:25-28
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Love you... Love me

I have left Greece and I am now in Switzerland for my UCLA study abroad program. I miss Greece, but I am so excited to get going with my program here in Geneva. As I reflect on my time in Greece, I think the most striking thing to me was the way the Lord changed how I viewed myself.

It can Be hard to be a Christian girl.

So here is the shout out to every girl who wanted to be perfect and failed. I am right there with you. There is something about knowing what you are supposed to be, having that image in your head, but feeling like a complete failure in trying to attain it. Along with all the other complications of the insecurities that bind us as women, sometimes I find that within the church we add a whole new element of guilt. I am too much, but I am not enough. I am not who I am supposed to be. I need to be more. I need to hide more.
I have always had this mental image in my head: on the op of a mountain stands the perfect woman. She is not real, but rather an image to attain. She is who every woman "should" aspire to be. She is kind, compassionate, gentle, delicate, sweet, giving, everything to everyone.. you know sugar and spice and everything nice. At the bottom of the mountain is me. My goal is to get to the top. To attain this image and to embody it. But I needed to climb the steep mountain. While I am climbing though, there are others throwing rocks at me. I am hit over and over. I cant get up the mountain. I feel so discouraged. Many of the people throwing rocks are other christians which adds a whole other hurt. I always felt there was something inately wrong with me. No matter how hard I tried I could not be her. I could not be what I deemed to be "perfect". I am clumsy. I often say the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. Sometimes my passion overrides my sense of reason. I am not always gentle and kind. I am not delicate by any stretch of the imagination. I always felt I guess you could say inadequate at the core of my being. I could strive to accomplish whatever I wanted to, but there was always this deep insecurity about who I was.

But I never pushed this view on any other girl but me.

I have talked with many girls that have felt the same as me. Its funny how the things we struggle with sometimes become what we are most passionate about. I never want any girl to not understand what she is worth. While I was in Greece, I grieved for the women in the streets. I could not fathom how they viewed themselves. The depth of their hurts and insecurities. The ways I have felt caused a lot of pain, but this was way beyond that. They had been destroyed at the core of who they were. I wanted them to see themselves as I saw them. As talented, beautiful, funny, and altogether precious women that were loved by their heavenly Father. I prayed for them constantly. During worship, I would praise the Lord for who He was, and ask that the girls would see who they were in Him. You know what happened? The Lord showed me who I was. In my quest to love these girls, I began to love myself. The Lord lifted the burden I felt for my lack of perfection, for all the mistakes I had made. The more I began to realize who I was.. the more love I felt for these girls. Can I even express the abundant joy and overflowing love that stirs inside me? There is no way I could express it.

Here is my tangent.. sometimes I just write.. so bear with me.

The one thing I hate.. absolutely detest.. is the way that judgement has replaced a heart of love. Please take this in context.. I know there is a place for judging. But what is the greatest of these: to Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind , and soul... and to love your neighbor as yourself? No.. we have become pretentious in our knowledge of the Word. We criticize not only the unsaved but so often we are so cruel to one another. We stay in our christian circles where we are safe. We do not really have to fight for anything. We are comfortable. But have you ever taken time to look at the people around you? I mean really look. Everyday we miss a chance to love someone. There are so many hurting people in the world. They are not just the prostituted women in Athens. People are dying inside while we live our lives knowing the truth. We criticize and bring others down. We deem people unholy without ever knowing their story. They are the girl at the check out counter who has to work instead of go to school because her family fell apart. Or the girl at school who everyone calls a whore...Did you know that she had been sexually abused growing up as a child? There are so many hurting people. We do not need to travel far to find them. Look outside your window or rather look at the one sitting next to you in church.

They are evreywhere.

While in Geneva, I am doing research, going to school, and meeting with officials and ambassadors. I already have a meeting set up with the leaders from the UN AntiTrafficking Unit, as well as officials from the human rights council. I have started my classes with a group of undergraduate and graduate students. We are studing globalization and global goverance in the context of urban planning in third world countries. We will also be doing a research project. I have chosen human trafficking as my topic and will begin to narrow it down soon. For one of the classes I am doing a different research project on forced migration in the context of regional conflicts. We are visiting all the global orgs while we are here after we spend time in class. So pretty much its 9 to 5 everyday. Pray that the Lord will show me how to glorify Him in all this. I want to work at a governmental level on the issue of human trafficking, but it is not enough to just get these girls out and to end it. I want to give them hope. I want to give them peace. There is only One who gives a peace that passes all understanding. There is only One who will set them free from all bondage. Pray that the Lord will reveal how I will be able to work in the secular realm while still allowing this to be about Him.

I will continue to write when I get a chance. I warn you. I am very nerdy so I apologize if it may get boring.

"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35)

"We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death" (1 John 3:14).

Loss and Restoration

So we have done alot of training in the time I have been here, and part of that is doing excercises that make us aware of what the girls are going through culturally, emotionally, etc..

This one impacted me most.

List five things in life that are most important to you. List the fice things you cannot do without or that rank on your priority list. Here are mine:

1. Faith
2. Family
3. Friends
4. School
5. Security and stability

We wrote these on little cards. Then Kelsey would ome around and take one from each of us. She took security from me. Pretend one of yours is taken away. What would you do if it really was? For me, not to have security basically meant something was wrong in all the other areas of my life. I found myself trying to figure out which one I wanted her to take. Take school and education, I will lose that before the others, after that it becomes hard.

Then we got all our cards taken away.

ALL. What if you lost all the things you listed? What would you do? What would that feel like? Horrible. I honestly do not know how I could function. I probably would just shut down to be honest. It seems like too much loss. It is too much loss for anyone to handle.

Welcome to the life of a girl in prostitution and sex slavery.

She has lost everything. She has lost her family for she is all alone. Her family is her Madame and pimp. She has lost most of her faith for how could one be worthy of anything after all she has done? She has lost any real friend. Her friends are now the other girls on the street. Her competetition to beat out in order to earn more money to pay her traffickers back with. Stability and security? I do not think I have to explain why those do not exist. School? Her heart had longed for education, but education did not offer immediate payment. Who wants her intelligence? She is just body. I met one girl who had told me she wanted to be an accountant. She became excited as she told me about her love of numbers. She loved the order of them. The neat way they all fit together. Her face became downcast as she said everything changed when her family needed money. She looked up at me and asked "Its not too late is it? I can go back when I get out right?". Such a painful look with a tinge of hope, I encouraged her that she could do just that.

Most of us live off our hopes and dreams. Especially when we are young. The future is a vast and scary thing, but there is so much hope in the unknown for us. We have not lost it all. But what if we did? What would change in us? What happens to a person when everything they wanted and loved is crushed. I will tell you what happens. Something dies within them. They lose parts of themselves slowly, each time feeling like they will never get it back. They slowly lose who they are.

Another excericise we did was Kelsey had us all draw or write who we were on a piece of paper.

What would best show/describe who we were. I made my little drawing and handed it over to kelsey expecting that we would have to explain ourselves. I was proud of what I had drawn. I like to be appreciated for who I am. Dont we all? Well, instead of uplifting, she went through one by one, said something demeaning or derrogatory (to the best of her ability) about our pictures, ripped them up, and handed them back to us. I must say even though I knew this was an excercise, I could feel myslef hoping she would not get to mine. Please please pass it over. I did not want who I was torn apart or criticized.

Once again, in this act we were shown what the girls feel like. All the dreams they had, who they are, who they wanted to be, it is gone. It has been ripped up and torn to shreds. They have been shown and told they are worthless. They have been told that they are nothing more then a prostitutie. Nothing more then an object to be used. Nothing. Anything they thought they were, anything they thought they wanted, it was all gone. A fantasy that could never come true.

These excercises really impacted me.

In some small way, I could grasp the complete and utter loss that comes with sex trafficking. It makes my heart hurt, but realize how much I have. I am so glad that my God restores. Restoration. That has become my prayer for these girls. May the Lord restore all their dreams, their hopes, and their needs. May they find their hope and future in Him. May they begin to see a future, to have hope. May they know they are loved in the depths of their heart, and may they know that they are worth so much. May they find comfort in their grief. May they be able to grieve the loss of so much, but after find joy in all that God will give them. I know their lives have forever been altered, but I also know that all things work for the good. Please continue to pray.

"And I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.And you shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that has dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed." Joel 2:25-26


Also remeber to give thanks. Appreciate and love all that you have. Because there are those who would give anything to have just a fraction.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

Psalm 145:7

Twirl Me

You know those times in life where everything just slows down.
The times where your mind is not wandering with a million things racing through your head, but rather you are just in the moment. I had one of those the other night. It was very simple, but I find that sometimes in the simple things, the greatest joy can be found.

We went out to the streets.

Just like the other nights, we smiled and waved at the girls. We told them we had some tea, literature, and cookies around the corner for them whenever they wanted to come over. It gets hard to tell the girls apart and remember their names because they change their hair and even names so much. But there are a few that I have put to memeory. These ones I have shared more then a a mere "how are ya" conversation with, actually we have become friends of sorts. They have asked for help finding new jobs, for prayer, or we have just enjoyed each others company.

One girl all night stayed in the vicinity of our table.

She kept walking back and forth talking on the cell phone. A few times i was pretty sure she was not even talking on the phone. I think she just liked being in our prescence. I had had a few conversations with her before. She was the one who had warned me of a man who was going to steal a necklace off one of our team members. P has a raspy, deeper voice so I can always tell its her. She also seems to be very no nonsense, and I appreciate that quality in her. Finally,towards the end of the night, I was able to strike up a converstaion with her.

Me: "Hey there, hows the night going?"
P: "Oh fine fine."
Me: "Do you mind if I ask you something?"
p: "ya..sure sure..go ahead."
Me: "What is love to you?"
P: "LOve? You mean sex?"
Me: "No No.. I mean if you were to love someone..like to love me.. what does that mean to you?"
(I tried to use hand motions to express what I was trying to convey.)
P: " There are two kinds of love: there is friendship love like between you and I.. and there is husband and wife love."
Me: "Do you want a family and a husband?"
P:" Me? yes I do I do. But not here. Not on the streets. There is no love here."

There is no love here.
She spends night after night with the exception of Sunday nights on this street. Can you imagine inhabiting a place where there is no love? Most of us cannot. Love means you matter. You are cared for.

As a little girl, I loved to play dress up. As much as I was a tomboy and enjoyed rough housing with my brother, there was something marvelous about dress up. What is the first thing my little girlfriends and I would do when we played dress up? We would dance. We would twirl in Mommys dresses.We would play pretend. We were Princesses in a beautiful castle. You see in a house or a place where there is love, there is freedom to twirl and pretend. Up into high school, there was nothing like listening to music with girlfriends, bouncing on the bed, twirling , and dancing. Even in my college years, I still love to do this. So many giggles and so much joy in these moments. It is in the subconcious knowing that you are loved, you are with people who love and enjoy you, thus you have the ability to be free. I still sometimes twirl in a dress that is flowy. I can still be the twirling little girl in her mommys dress because I have the freedom that comes from knowing that no matter what I am loved.

P was robbed of this.
These girls were robbed of this. Their dress up consists of putting on clothes that come off the easiest. They listen to music that has to be shut off when a client is in want of their services. There is no love. There is no twirling. There is no pretend. They just have the reality of being a product, a commodity, and nothing precious. They do not have freedom.

Me:"Do you like to dance?"
P: " Yes yes I do."
Me: "Like what kind?"
P: " I like the couples Greek dance."
Me: " Could you teach me.?"
P: "Oh no, I do not know how.."
Me: " You know I could teach you to waltz.. couples dance."
P: "There is no music"
Me: "Oh it is fine.. here let me see your hand.."

So we began to dance.
I am not very good and not the best teacher, but we giggled as we stumbled on each others feet and counted.. 1234...1234.. The team began to sing Waltz music behind us. Princess began to try to twirl. I could see that she wanted me to spin her. So that is what we did. We were not too good at this and pretty soon we were more of hugging and spinning together then dancing. In the midst of the filth of the streets, I danced with a Princess. We got to play pretend. She got to experience what it felt like to be safe and loved. We forgot where we were. We were just two girls laughing as we spun together. In that moment, there was freedom. Finally, after spinning and laughing, she let go and ran away to another group of girls taking her giggles with her.

You see it may seem like this was a blessing to her. A blessing to a girl who has no love for a moment was allowed an expressive act of it. But this dance was a blessing to me. In that moment, princess showed me where God was in the midst of all that darkness. He was right there. I had been struggling with trying to understand how I felt the love of Christ in this darkness but still with mixed feelings of questioning Him on how He could allow this.

The tree. The fall. The choice. This.. all this horrific pain.. this hoplessness.. did not come from the Lord.This was not His perfect plan. You see darkness is the absence of light. Light is never overwhelmed by darkness. Rather it penetrates and defeats darkness. There is no place for darkness where there is light.

The Lord said that He comes to give life and life abundantly.
It was in this moment with Princess that I understood the grace of God. I know that He is good, and I feel His love in this atrocity of sex slavery because I see Him and all that He brings contrasted with this darkness. "Taste and see that the Lord is good." I know that this is not all there is for these girls.. I know there is hope. There is abundant life, for I know the One who brings it. I have experienced it. This is Gods grace. He gives us hope. Hope for the future. He gives us undying love. Unfathomable love. He gives us Joy. He brings justice. He comes to bring abundant life! He comes to set the captives free.. He brings love and with that love comes freedom. Gods grace is that He comes into our darkest places and conquers our darkness.

I cannot offer any of these girls a promise that life will be easy. If they get out their road to healing is long and hard. But I can offer a hope, a love, and a freedom that only comes from knowing and believing that Jesus died and defeated death by rising from the dead for every sin and every wrong thing we have done. This world is not the end. There is glory and beauty that awaits us in heaven. Maybe we will get to dance and twirl with our heavenly Father.

You want to know how good God is?

I had been talking this entire trip about how much I wanted to be able to go dance or to at least go and watch it.. Not club dancing, but pretty couple dancing. Like on a beautiful terrace or something. Who knew that my one dance while in Greece would be on the streets with amongst prostituted women. Who knew that my dance would be with a Princess.

Who is more blessed then I?


Psalm 146

1 Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.

2 I will praise the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

3 Do not put your trust in princes,
in mortal men, who cannot save.

4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.

5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the LORD his God,

6 the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
the LORD, who remains faithful forever.

7 He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets prisoners free,

8 the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.

9 The LORD watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

10 The LORD reigns forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the LORD.

Some Experiences with a Tinge of an Education Push

I am really starting to bond with Athens.

In a love/hate sort of way. I have conquered mass transit and the ability to be discrete when suffering by someones lack of hygiene and/or refusal to wear deoderant. You would think that after squeezing onto a packed bus or metro every day of their lives..one would want to wear deoderant, but this seems not to be the case. Also, I now have a newfound appreciation for the US plumbing system. God bless all your souls. I may cry the first time I do not have to stick TP in the trash can. Oh the relaease of the fear that I may be the cause of some mass plumbiing problem because I had done the unthinkable: absent mindedly put tissue in the toilet.

I am also starting to realize why very few people are fat.

First of all, it is very very hot here. As in 100 degrees and the AC is too expensive to run (if you even have it). I find no shame in basking in front of the cold air or fan coming from a shop, but not buying anything. We counted the stairs we took one day. It was close to 400 one way. Thats almost 1000 stairs a day if you do not take an escalator. But dont you worry. I will find a way to be the one person who goes to Europe and gains weight.

The city has its beauty.


I went to the Acropolis. I could not get over that I was walking in a place that at one time only existed to me in my history books. The parthenon and the other temples were magnificent. I kept picturing all that went on there. People lived and died. I imagined wras being fought on the gorund I was standing. People probably fought and lost their lives in the Parthenon. From atop the hill of the Acropolis you could see it all. All of Athens, the Sea, amd the surronding hills for miles. It was no wonder Athens was such a great city for so long. I also stood on top of Mars Hill that day. It was incredible... all around you could see the sights of the city. On one side you have the Acropolis, Mars Hill sits below (but close) to it so you can see the Parthenon and ancient temples atop the acropolis. On another side, you could see the temple of Zeus... in front of you lay the city and the Sea. This was where Paul stood and preached a message to Athens. Acts 17:22-34. What a wonderful place to preach the message of Christ! Another fun fact, Aeropagus (Mars Hill) was where the judicial council met, and some high officials had their homes at one time on the side
of the hill. At the bottom you can see the ruins of the church that Dionysis built after he was converted from the sermon Paul preached on that hill (Church of St. Paul). I will put up facebook photos someday soon. Read Pauls sermon and all of this will putin context.

I also walked where Paul walked... literally.

We went to Corinth for half the day before Outreach. I climbed the ancient ruins of the Acro Corinth. At the very top of that mountain, I stood where the Temple of Aphrodite was. They say over 1000 prostitutes were there. One of the missionariies told us that Corinth had the power of Washington DC and the sin/pleasure of Las Vegas. Mind you, we drove half way up the mountain.. then climbed for awhile.. I cant imagine going all that way by foot just to sleep with one of the girls of the temple. The missionary turned to all of us who are young and unmarried and asked... Dont you think it would have just been easier to have a God honoring relationship? Food for thought. Now back to walking where Paul walked. We went and saw the ancient ruins of Corinth. This is where Paul preached and walked arond. In one of the verses it talked about how he went and preached in the marketplace until the rest of his team came and then he went into the temples. There are two main roads in the main part of the city. Everyone who went to Corinth walked these roads. I walked on the actual stone..the actual road that went right through the marketplace. We made sure to go back and forth and criss cross to be positive we touched the same stones no matter what path he may have taken. So yes.. I really have walked the same road as Paul.

I do not understand the police here.

Pretty much every day on my way to the office I see people shooting up. Its really sad. A bunch of druggies are scattered everywhere slumped over. What a sad sad life. Mind you the police are there too. What for? Your guess is as good as mine. Omonia (the part of Athens we work in) is definitly the land of drug addicts. Often when we are out in the streets at night the police will give us a scolding for being there. They say our safety is in our hands. Funny how no one seems to be worried about the young Nigerian girls who are forced to be out there every night. Heaven forbid something be done besides just driving around in police cars or motorcycles all night making the girls run and hide. Its like a game. The girls just become mice to scatter and scare. The police do this repeatedly, and I still dont see the point. It just makes it hard for us to have conversations with the girls because they are nervous and cannot really concentrate. If they do get arrested, they will go to court and just be sent out again. Back on the streets. It does not really solve anything.

Funny, but not so funny story.

One of the nights we were out there, there was a ton of police. They kept driving through scaring the girls. So the girls spent most of the night running. We were well equipped with water, tea, and biscuits for them, but it still made it hard to have conversations. One girl came up to me and said, "I like your legs." I was a little caught off guard by this comment. Especially considering she has the long slender African legs, and I have the American (I played all the butch sports) Scandanavian legs. I tried to come up with a compliment in return, but failed. "I umm like your legs too?"

We shall call her S. Now a little later that evening I started to hear yelling. Screeching. A ton of girls came running and shouting. There was an uproar. Out came S. Screaming and yelling and pointing. I had no idea what was going on. Then a police car was coming and everyone did not run. They started yelling and shouting for the police to come. The police didnt see and the girls would laugh while still shouting and yelling. They began to run after the police. Now I was really confused. Finally the police stopped and one took off running. The entire time in this uproar. S has not fully dressed herself, I have a ton of shouting and laughing girls all around me, I see a police officer chasing a man in the distance, and I am completely lost. I wish I could explain and tell you all the details of why this was funny in an insane way, but I cannot accurately describe this night to you at all.

Turns out it was a pickpocket.

The girls hate pickpockets and apparently so do the police because in that moment they were allies. The prostituted women and the police.. trying to find justice and stop thievery.

What a warped sense of justice.

I am not going to try and pretend to understand what all this is about, but I really wish that the police here were more of a help. The justice system really has failed these girls. The police go after a pickpocket because more can be done to them then to one of these prostituted women. Prostitution is legal even if human trafficking isnt. So how would a girl prove she has been trafficked? Most of the girls do not even know these terms or know that they have rights. The traffickers are so highly connected, withinn the government and the police force, that any attempt to stop them seems almost pointless. How can justice ever be served? How can these traffickers be caught? You see, one girl can be saved, but hundreds more in her place will come. Its never ending. These men must be stopped at the source. Human trafficking has to be stopped at its root or it will never end. Lives will continue to be destroyed. Precious girls will continue to be terrorized. This is not just for Greece, but all around. There are places where girls in the villages just disappear. Villages you can go to where you will not find a young girl because they have all been sold. Places like India, Thailand, and Cambodia.. human trafficking allows for not only prostitution.. but more horrible horrible atrocities that are done to these girls. In any country, do not be fooled into thinking that prostitution is glitz and glamour. That is a terrible lie. Stopping all this,is so vast a task that it can be seen as daunting to try and stop this. Those at the aftercare level are overwhelmed by the endless amount of lives that have been ripped apart, forever changed. It must be stopped at its source. But How?

There has to be a way. What we need is not just ministers, but an educated people. One of the ladies that has been with Nea Zoi from the start has gone back to school to be a therapist. The missionaries say that ministry is begging for professionalism. A pastor once told me that to have a good heart was wonderful, but that he had seen many people in the church be frustrated because they could only do so much because of their lack of education and money. Why is the church afraid of education? Of a profession? Of money? Last time I checked this, and yes our Lord too..keep in mind I am holding Him as a constant, are very important to a ministry.

Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.

Do you know apart from loving God with all their heart mind and soul, I really truly believe that the way my generation and the generations to come are going to make a difference, is through having a profession, higher education, and knowledge. To gain respect in the secular world. To not be seen as ignorant and never venturing outside our churches... Gods people should be an educated people. Yes, I know that many have been used who did not have this. Some people have extenuating circumstances that do not allow for this. Each person has their own conviction in the matter. But it cannot be argued.. We are so blessed in America. So so Blessed. If the opportunity to learn is there.. TAKE IT!
So much can be done for the Lord. Why not enter the secular world as Christian professionals and fight for the cause of Christ? I guess all I am trying to say is.. Church please do not downplay the importance and role of higher education, because the mission field and hurting people are in dire need of those who have it.

In Conclusion..

As I said before, many of these girls know who God is. They were raised around Christianity at home. They even go to church on Sundays, but they are trapped and in bondage. They are in bondage to the witchcraft spoken over their lives, their traffickers, their overwhelming shame and guilt, and often their families. Pary for the girls. Pray for the team. Let us pray for freedom. Let us pray for Justice.

Psalm 145:19-20 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. [20] The Lord watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

My Grace is Sufficient

It is getting harder to leave at the end of the night when we go out to the streets. Can I just stay with them? I promise I will be safe. I know that I am not allowed to be alone out there, but who is going to keep them safe? I find myself wishing that we couold go out every night. I have the overwhelming question of "why" screaming in my head all the time. Why. Why her? Why not me? Why is this allowed? Why do you not save them right now God? You walked on water, you healed the sick, you made blind men see... Why are these girls here? Do you know that the girls regualarly stand on the streets singing praise songs? Often the conversations go like this: "What fun music! What is it called?" "It is praise music from my country. From Nigeria. Praise to the One who made it all." Then the girl runs off chasing a potential customer. My mind cannot fully grasp this. In all this darkness, these girls are listening to praise music? I am pretty sure I heard hillsongs from one of the girls. We are told that everytime Bibles are brought out, they are gone in an instant. The girls love to get Bibles. Some keep them as good luck charms to sleep with under their pillows. Often, you can find a girl reading one in a brothel. The girls know that what they are doing is sin, but they are trapped by their circumstances and their traffickers. "just as soon as I pay off my debt, then I will find a new job."
The girls have started to remeber me. I do not really blend in here you could say. I remebered their names, thankfully, and was greeted with warm smiles and hugs. I loved seeing them. Its hard not to just grab them, throw them in a car, and go far away. Sometimes I imagine that we could all start a cafe by the Sea, and they could be safe and healthy. I would take care of them. I would love them. In my perfect world, they would never hurt again or deal with the consequences of their trade. In my perfect world.
At different times, the girls asked me to sit with them.We would sit there. Just two young women have a conversation. One girl told me of how she missed home. She said she had alot of family there, but she was here in Athens alone. She told me that if she could, she would go back home right now. She would just fly away and be gone. I am going to find out why she has not done so and offer her the opportunity to go home through Nea Zoi next time I see her. Another girl offered for me to sit down on the cardboard box she had set out so the dirty sidewalk would not stain her dress. We laughed at our attempt to both sit on this little pieece of cardboard. We laughed at the size of my butt in comparison to her small frame. We laughed at my recent sunburn and awful tan lines from the merciless Greek sun. We laughed. We talked of how she loved to sing gospel music. I asked her if she would want to sing in front of a crowd ever. She said it did not matter. She loved to sing everywhere. We shared smiles and stories. But we shared an unspoken pain. We could joke and laugh, but we did it amongst the darkness of a street filled with men walking by and gawking at us. She sat safe with me, but I could not keep her safe. Everytime I looked at her I could see a yearning to be as far away from here as she could be. I watched her fiddle with her phone and hands, never really looking up. I wanted to throw away any normal conversation, and just grab her and hold her close to me. I wanted to let her cry. Cry for the injustice of it all. Cry for where her life had taken her. Cry for what had been stolen from her. I could see so much pain that could not come out. I once saw a movie with a poem and it immediately came to mind, It is by Antwone Fischer, but I am changing it to a girl for the sake of getting my point across.

who will cry for the little girl?
Lost and all alone.
Who will cry for the little girl?
Abandoned without her own?

Who will cry for the little girl?
She cried herself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little girl?
She never had for keeps.

Who will cry for the little girl?
She walked the burning sand
Who will cry for the little girl?
The girl inside the woman.

Who will cry for the little girl?
Who knows well hurt and pain
Who will cry for the little girl?
She died again and again.

Who will cry for the little girl?
A good girl she tried to be
Who will cry for the little gilr?
Who cries inside of me.

You see this girl who I sat on the box with. She has not been making enough money, thus her family has been threatened. They have reduced the amount she has to pay off, but she still has another two years ahead of her. She is dying inside. You can see it all over her face. Her family has been threatened so she receives pressure from them. She receives pressure from her traffickers. She is ravaged by her customers. She must go out night after night allowing others to take advantage of her. Noone seems to care for her. All is hopeless. I look at her and I want to scream at every man that walks by with that disgusting look. I want to fight for her. tell her she is loved. Oh, she is adored. That is when the question , "why" begins to scream in my head. I hear "My grace is sufficient." What does that mean? Everytime I cry out to the Lord this is what I hear. Grace. Grace. My Grace. I am not going to pretend to understand. I am not going to play all knowing holy Christian.
Was I blaming God for all of this? Paul is talking about nothing being out of his own good, but rather from God. I see all this injustice and it is hard to comprehend and understand my God in this context. But why this verse? Is the Lord reminding me that this pain I feel He feels even more then I do? All the filth, this is what sin does. This is what sin is. Have I not been walking in the grace of God? Yes. I know it is only by Grace I am saved. But what about these girls? I am not questioning that Gods grace is enough, but am I questioning his heart in comparison to mine? As if the Lord has turned His face from the wretchedness and hurt here? Am I forgetting the filth that is in me? So many questions. I am so thankful to know that God can be patient with me me and my questions. When I understand this verse in the context of my life right now, I shall let you know.
Pray For L. Pray for hope. Pray for every girl on this street. Pray for the team. I have no idea how I will ever be able to leave them. Pray. Pray. Pray. For I know His Grace is sufficient.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

God's Favor

Today was a long day. We got up early and headed to our bus stop. We take one bus, two metro changes, and a walk through a pretty nasty area, in order to get to our offices. Once we got there we reconvened our training. We are being taught out of a book called "The Hands that Heal". There are very few materials that train on the issue of human trafficking and sex slavery so it is a blessing to have this. After I am done with this training, I will receive a certificate stating I finished the training and I will be able to train others. I thought that was pretty exciting news.
We started off going through a biblical view of sexuality. It is so important that while in working in this industry we keep our thoughts and minds focused on God's views on sexuality. The things that are seen can so easily distort our perception of sex. We all know that the Bible sees sex within the correct context as good; as an act of bonding and committing your whole self to one person. The interesting thing that I saw while studying this issue was the perception of sex in our culture and how it really does "sell". When the emotional is taken out of sex, which is what our culture does, it is just a physical act. We are told it is going to be so satisfying, but really it just leaves us wanting. Its not that big off a deal. This is because we have taken the emotional from the physical. This probably is not news to anyone, but what really opened my eyes was how by doing this, sex really has become a commodity. It is able to sell because it never really satisfies. Sounds like the perfect product to me. Is that not the point? To always keep your customers wanting? These girls who are in bondage to their traffickers, they are the hot ticket. They are products that keep on giving. They will never go out of demand.
We went over the realities for these women. Their behavior and speech has all become sexualized. They cannot really relate to anyone outside of a sexual context. One of the quotes that was given to us was "You cannot serve as a toilet for men for long without thinking you are a toilet." This is so true. These girl's images of themselves have been forever tarnished. IF they get out of the sex industry, they are going to have a lifetime struggle with trust and self esteem. They will have difficulties having any kind of normal relationship, especially in the romantic realm. Their ability to have any connection to anyone has been severely impaired. How can they ever see sexual things as a good thing again?
We ended our session and began Greek lessons. I can now read Greek. I say this as in I can sound out the letters, but I have absolutely no idea what I am saying. I consider this an accomplishment. I do not think I will ever be prolific in this language so I am not too worried. As long as I can read street signs and be able to ask people where things are, I am good.
Our second session of training went into aftercare of the victims. We went through spiritual and practical aftercare. Ideas such as mentors and support groups. How to get them jobs. The need for deliverance in all their lives. The need for networking and the need for church support.There is a great need for counselors for these women. The turnover rate in this ministry is very high. Because of the emotional toll this area of work takes on a person, many cannot handle working with human trafficking and sex slavery, even though it is direly needed. There was a 9 country survey done in the EU in which they interviewed prostituted girls. 89% of the girls, whether they were there by "free will" or not, did not want to be apart of the sex industry anymore. They wanted out. But where are they to go? Their whole world and everything they know revolves around prostitution. In a sick way, this is where they have found family. They know how to work this world. They know how to get what they want and how to survive. They do not know how to live outside prostitution. They do not know how to do the basic things in life, such as how to grocery shop, pay bills, and budget. The real world is an unknown place for them. They can achieve status in their ring of prostitution. If they leave, they are poverty stricken, disrespected, and shamed. Do they even have a hope for a normal life? The realities of all this become overwhelming. Because of this many girls that get out of the sex industry go right back into it. It is comfortable and it is what they know. The road to recovery and healing is not easy. Sometimes it is better to just be numb.
That night was our first night doing outreach on the streets. I was a little timid because I was worried about what I might see in regards to all the sexual acts that would be happening in front of me. This was soon to be put all at ease. We arrived at the outreach center at about 11:30 pm and commenced our worship and prayer time. This time was so uplifting, and I really could feel the Lord's prescence. We spent over an hour reading the Word, singing praises, and lifting up the name of Jesus. We all felt refreshed and ready to go as soon as we were done.
As I walked down the street and arrived in the district that the Nigerian girls walked, I found myself feeling no horror. I was expecting some emotionally dramatic reaction, but for some reason I did not. Actually, I was struck by how beautiful the girls were. As I think back on this, I think in alot of ways I had dehumanized these girls. In my mind they were prostitutes and I had a dirty image of what they should be and look like. Quite the contrary. I found that these girls were my peers. They were all young, with some of the oldest being about my age. We split into groups. Some people stayed at the table with the tea and cookies, while some walked the streets to talk to the girls and invite them to the table. We all had a guy with us at all times who stood in the back watching and praying over us. I observed the girls chasing the cars down. A lot of men would drive through just to get a look or to make the girls run after their cars. It was sick that they thought that was funny as I sat there anxiously hoping none of the girls toes would get run over. As I walked down the street I would smile and say hi to the girls. They were mostly all very nice and would smile and wave at me. One girl came right up to me and gave me a hug. She was carrying a phone that played music and kept telling me "that we should dance". She seemed so joyful and full of life. It was a little shocking to me. Then I remembered that that is how they cope and the way that they get customers. Throughout the night, I would talk with girls, I would ask them if they wanted tea and see how they were doing. I would ask if they needed help in any way (such as medical, english or greek lessons, or help getting a new job). The more hardened ones did not respond as kindly as some. One girl took me aside to warn me that some men were planning on stealing Peter's (the guy watching me) necklace, and that he needed to hide it. She told me that "these are not good men." That was the understatement of the century.
The police would randomly drive through the streets and send the girls running into hiding. I was told that alot of the cops do this just cause they think it is funny. At one point towards the end of the night, some real police came and arrested some of the men in front of me. I think they did not have papers. One of the officers came over to talk to me. He was a very large man, and I could tell he was a father by his nature. He asked me what I was doing there and said it in a scolding manner. I promptly explained why I was there. He told me that "I should not be here", but seemed to soften towards me as he realized what we were there to do.
As the night came to a close, we all started to walk back to the outreach center. It was about 230 am. On the sidewalk I saw a girl sitting on a crate. Her head was down, and she did not look happy. At first I passed her, set on getting to my destination, but then I stopped and turned around. She looked so incredibly sad sitting all alone in the dark on that crate in the filth of that street. The overwhelming feeling that no girl should have to endure this scene and its indignities had been with me all night, but something about her lack of false joy struck me. I turned around and struck up a conversation with her. At first she told me that everything was "fine." It obviously was not. I told her she did not look very happy and asked if I could pray with her. She just looked up at me and said yes. I expected there to be a hardness in her, but there was none. I asked her what she would like me to pray for. She gently held out her hand to me and said "Please pray for God's favor in my life." At that moment my mind went completely blank. I just wanted to grab her and hold her and take her so very far away. God's favor? I have never been so humbled in my entire life. This poor girl, who very well could be me if i was born in a different time and situation, was asking me to ask God for favor for her. In my heart, I knew I would not ask. I would beg. Plead. I sat with her and prayed a short prayer making sure she knew how precious and loved she was. And I asked for God's favor in her life.
Please continually pray for this girl. We shall call her L. Pray for the team and pray for each one of these precious girls. I wish you could see them. It is not fair that their beauty must be betrayed on account of man's lust. Pray for freedom. Pray for deliverance. Pray for God's favor.

Psalms 119:58-60: I entreated Your favor with my whole heart; Be merciful to me according to Your word. I thought about my ways, And turned my feet to Your testimonies. I made haste, and did not delay To keep Your commandments.

Wednesday-A Day by the Sea

So we went to Aegina today for some team bonding time. Aegina is one of the Greek Islands. We took a ferry there. I love love the Sea. As we pulled up to Aegina I noticed that it seemed to look like a Nevada island (if Nevada had an island). Actually, most of Greece looks like Nevada to me. It is so hot and very dry, very much like the desert. The city part of Athens is pretty dirty. I am not a huge fan. Probably because we work in the not so nice areas, but the other day we took a hike up to Mount Muses which overlooks the city. It was absolutely breathtaking. I could see Mars Hill and the Acropolis right next to it. In Greece, they cannot build over any ruins or special places, so it was easy for me to imagine this place as it was Jesus time. In Athens, you can be walking and then "Oh hi ancient ruins." The people here walk amongst so many years of history and culture. It does not get dark til very late and the city keeps the area bright. It is not all dirty, there are areas filled with laughter and dancing. God is so good. I cannot get over all the different kinds of beauty I have been seeing. It really was awe inspiring to sit upon that Mount and look down on Mars Hill and picture Paul preaching about the God of the Isrealites. Mars Hill is right next to the Acropolis and it overlooks the entire city. What a wonderful place to tell a people about the one true living God; on a hill overlooking the beauty that God created. The land is so vast and filled with sounds of small animals and insects chirping in the trees. One could not deny there is a God from this vantage point. I cannot wait to climb Mars Hill, go to the Acropolis, and the Acropolis museum. All my studies dealing with Greek and Roman literature is coming alive here. Thank you UCSD.
Anyways, back to Aegina. I loved standing at the top of the boat, closing my eyes, and just feeling the wind. Considering its been over a hundred degrees most of the time we have been here ( all without air conditioning). The sea breeze was immensely refreshing. Once again, I was struck by the greatness of my Lord. I guess this seems to be a theme for me on this trip. I am really finding out who God is, and in turn who I am in Him. Everything I see causes me to praise Him. I am more of a reserved person, even in my expression of faith. I have never seen myself as someone who could just go out and proclaim who God was unsolicited to the world. I guess I am more relational. But there is something welling deep within me. Something that I cannot contain. There is this overwhelming joy and passion. A love that so consumes me that I cannot do anything but praise God for all that He is and all that He has done for me.
Aegina was beautiful. The little town was placed right next to port by all the boats. I loved looking at all the fishing boats and the homes that were so colorful. It was beauty that a city by the sea could only hold. My favorite building was painted bright yellow with bright blue trim. There were window boxes filled with flowers and on the exterior someone had painted flowers. Outside sat a antique table with chairs that two old ladies sat at. Mom, Kathy, Grandma, you would have loved it. This is where I fell in love with the Greek people. There were so many old men and women on this island. They sat at the cafes overlooking the sea talking and enjoying life together. I began to watch and appreciate their culture, their community. The old men would get into groups and the old women in another group. I do not know what they talked about, but the sense of community was so strong. All their old faces, wrinkled and leathery from years in the sun, hold so many stories and so much history. Greece is not just a land filled with landmarks of history, but it is a land full of people with a rich personal culture and history. What had that old man looking at the Sea in silence, with dark skin and piercing blue eyes, do for most of his life? What had he seen? Had he loved a woman deeply? What pain had he felt? What brought him joy? I try to discretely get photos of the people, but its hard. I think I am just going to start asking if I may take their picture.
We rented bikes and biked around the island. Do I even need to describe the feeling of riding a bike along the Mediternean? I looked out at the blue Sea and admired all the boats and the colors. The island got even more brown and desert-like as we left the village, but it was colored by bright flowers such as magenta bougainvilleas . We stopped at a beach cafe by the Sea. It was SOOO hot. Immediately jumped in the water and stayed there until I was pruning. We had lunch next to the Sea and relaxed by the beach then headed back to the village so we could leave. I so enjoyed my time there. It was great to bond with the team. The full time missionaries explained to us that this ministry is so emotionally draining that it is really important that they all take trips and time for themselves or they will go crazy. When you deal with so much darkness and pour so much of yourself into others, it would make sense that you would need time to care for yourself.
I am so thankful for the love of Christ. There is nothing like knowing that you are loved no matter what. I think it may be the single most important thing someone can realize in their life. You are loved. Wholly and completely just as you are. No matter what, there is one who has an unending love for you.
"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."
Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Light and Darkness

Today started out with Greek lessons. I now completely understand why they say "Its all Greek to me". This language is ridiculously hard. We do not use the same alphabet.The p does not make a p sound. It makes a rr sound etc.. The woman would call on each of us and have us sound out words based on the alphabet we had just learned. Everyone tried to pretend like they were super focused on writing so she would not call on us, but she spared none. All in all, we spent about an hour butchering the Greek language.

After our Greek Lesson, a Nigerian woman came in to talk to us about the specific culture of the Nigerian women we would be working with. Nigeria has a population of about 120 million. Of this large group of people, there are more then 250 ethnic groups and 400 different dialects. Because of this vast diversity of language, the main language of Nigeria is English. This is why we will be working with them specifically. We can actually interact and have a conversation with the girls. In Nigeria, the North is mostly Muslim, and they follow Sri Law. The girls cannot leave the house without permission from a male figure, thus they do not really receive any education outside of domestic duties. In the South, there is a mixture of Muslims and Christians. Here, the women are looked to to provide for their families. They often run the businesses, and support their families. The girls do get an education, but this is often interrupted by the fact that they must help out with the family business. This leaves no time for homework and ever actually learning anything. Arranged marriages are commonplace in Nigeria. The woman who spoke with us had actually had one. In the South the woman is allowed to choose after a period of courtship if she likes who her family picked. In the North, the woman has no say.

Most of the women we will be working with all come from a small SW region called Edo State. Surprisingly, the reason so many are from the same area is because family members or friends of family members are the ones who go back to their homeland and recruit. A cousin or an uncle may go back to his village with large sums of money and offer a relative a chance to go to Europe. A chance to have wealth, travel, and take care of their families. This creates a endless circle of prostitution with people within this part of Nigeria. They are often told they are going to go to the bars and just "dance". Even in some cases, the mothers pressure the girls. They see other girls who became prostitutes and come back bearing gifts, and they become envious. "Look at her mother and how rich she dresses. Do you want me to die in poverty?" One woman that was rescued from the streets was told by an uncle that she would just do hair for the other girls. That turned out to be a lie. The girls are mostly illiterate. They are primary school dropouts who cannot read or write. They are also mostly teenagers. We are tld we will see as young as twelve. It costs about 2,000 euros to get them to Greece. At most it would cost 5,000 euros. The girls are required and told they must pay back an amount upwards of 60,000 euros.

Traditional worship is still in practice today in Nigeria. Traditional worship is what we call voodoo. There are still JuJu priests that the people go to with prayers and requests. They are often required to make sacrifices or pay based on the requests. In some rare cases, depending on what is wanted, even human sacrifice is required. The madams and pimps use this against these women. Before they take them away, they bring the girl to the JuJu doctor. He preforms rituals and incantations on them. They are forced to take oaths of secrecy from ever disclosing what they are doing in Greece or what their pimps are making them do. They are told that if they break these oaths they will be cursed. Terrible things will happen to their families and to themselves. Often the pimps will bring all the materials to preform these spells on the women while they are in the brothels. These women are in bondage in every way possible: physically, mentally, and spiritually. The threat of demonic attack often makes it hard for the girls to open up. They are terrified of the witchcraft that binds them.

One of of the men in our team was able to go out on an outreach with another team before us. The theme of the outreach was light and darkness. Ironically enough, when everyone came together for a time of worship and prayer before going out into the streets and brothels, the power went out. Then some of the women experienced their purses getting slashed so that thieves could steal what was inside. What a way to start an outreach.
After worship, they split into teams. One team went to the bars and another went to the brothels. Chris was on the team that went to the brothels. The men here have the duty of praying the entire time and watching out for the safety of the team girls as they go out and talk to the prostituted women. The men are not allowed to speak with the girls. They were not having alot of luck as the team was turned away brothel after brothel.

Finally, at the second to last brothel, the Madame let her girl talk to a team member. The prostituted woman was a Greek girl who had been in the brothel for awhile. This woman began to open up, although she could only get parts of her story out at a time because she would have to leave for a little while to preform her services, and then she would return. She told them that after she worked her shifts in the brothel she goes home to a tiny one room apartment. As soon as she is in the room, she shuts and locks the door, collapses on the floor, closes her legs, and pulls them tightly to her chest. She just lays there and holds herself in a little ball. She said that it is only in this time, lying on the cold floor in a shabby apartment, that she is herself. It is the only time she knows who she is.

What do you even say to a story like that? I cannot picture a worse prison. I cannot imagine going through life just existing. Living in a self-induced daze in order to not crumble, in order to just survive. Going from one place of darkness to another, never entering into the light. The only place this woman is able to find some sliver of comfort is in a dark room where she still suffers alone. She must hold on to herself so tightly because if she lets go she is not safe. Many of the girls suffer terribly from nightmares. I am sure this woman is no stranger to night terrors. Her life is one.

The last thing that this woman said to the team member was that they (Nea Zoi) were doing the Lord's work. They should continue and persevere in this work. The woman said that although she was too lost, that Nea Zoi would be able to save many girls. She said that all of these people working with Nea Zoi would be blessed. She proclaimed that not only would God bless them for what they were doing, but He would bless their children and their grandchildren and teh generations to come. Later on, they learned that this woman's name meant light.

Let us pray that this woman and the other woman who live in this horrible nightmare see the light of Christ. May they know the love and joy that we find in our Lord Jesus. May they rest and be comforted in his arms. May Light pierce their darkness and set them free.

Isaiah 50:10
10 Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.

Psalm 4:6
6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.

Psalm 36:9
9 For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

Into the Brothels

There are times in our lives that merit silence. This happens to be one of those times for me. I do not know if I can accurately put into words what I feel or what I have learned so far. I have only had the orientation and first teaching about what we are dealing with and already my heart is heavy.

Did you know that there are 270,000 documented victims of human trafficking in the EU? The UN states that you must times this by 30 to really get an accurate picture of the amount of people in bondage in the EU alone. Eighty percent of the victims are women and fifty percent are children. Human trafficking is the second most lucrative illegal business behind drug trafficking. It brings in about 45 billion dollars a year. That happens to be more then Coca-Cola, Walmart, and McDonalds all make... combined. Of the people trafficked into the EU each year 90% end up in the sex industry. Only 1-2% of victims are rescued, and only 1 in 100,000 europeans involved in trafficking are convicted.

In relation to Greece, it is estimated that a little over half the sexually active men in Greece participate in sex services. It is not uncommon for a father to take his son to the "family prostitute" for his first sexual encounter. We walked around the brothels, and went to one of the streets we would be doing outreaches on during the women's working hours (11 pm - 3am). The white light that shines over the doors at the brothels means there is a woman in there working. In each brothel, one woman and one madam, with an 8 hour shift. The men go to the brothel, the woman steps out from behind a curtain, half-naked, and they access her. If she is not what they want, they move on to the next brothel. A prostitutes life is one of rejection and judgement. These brothels run 24/7. Because of the economic decline, the women cannot be too disparaging in what their clients request of them. Thus, they have to do more and more degrading and risky things that these perverts request.

How can a woman stay in this? How do they allow themselves to get involved? Do they do this to themselves? Is it their choice? Honestly, I do not know how you even begin to differentiate any of these questions. Many of these women wanted out of their country, they were starving, they needed money for their families, they had no where to go, they were alone, they were lied to, and they were taken advantage of. One of the women that works here full time said "It is humbling to see how these women are just a few bad life circumstances away from being me. Look what I have and look what they have." 90% of women who are apart of the sex industry have been sexually abused. This realm is full of woman who are unwanted, shamed, and alone. Many do not leave because they cannot go home, they have shamed their entire family. They leave or they will be beat. They have been arrested so many times that there is no way they are getting papers. How would they even be able to support themselves on the jobs that they would get outside of prostitution? They have no skills. They live life in fear and disillusionment. Last November a woman was beat to death because she was not bringing in enough money.

My heart breaks for these girls. Many are between the ages of 14 -20. That is the age of my little sister and I. As a girl, I know the desire to be loved and cherished. To twirl, to play, and be delighted in. We all have the desire to be the love of someone's life. We want to be known and wanted. Oh, the joy that comes from being adored by one's father... by others. To know that you are safe and secure and that no one can take that from you. Is this not the desire of every girl deep down inside? Do we not all long to be princesses in our own fairytale? The women that work with these girls say a common comment of the girls as to why they can't leave prostitution is "Who would want me? I am worthless. " I am worthless. I am nothing. I am not loved. I am not cherished. I am soiled. I am unworthy. Who would want me? Who would love me? I am not precious. I am not beautiful. I am alone, and I am worthless. This grieves me. All I can picture is a little girl about the age of my baby sister or one of my little cousins sitting in the window of this brothel with so much hurt in their eyes thinking these thoughts. Believing these thoughts about themselves. No hope. No future of happiness. No true life. The tender innocence and youth torn from them, only to be replaced by a bitterness and hardness that will flavor the rest of their lives.

It took everything within me not to sob during this meeting. I just wanted my Dad at that moment. I cannot handle the thought of anyone being unloved. It took me awhile before I could even talk because I knew if I opened my mouth I was going to lose it. The Lord really spoke to me as I prayed and walked in silence for the next hour.

"Shelbi, do you know that I love you?" "Yes, Lord" "Do you think I love you anymore then I love these girls?" "No, of course not Lord." "Who am I Shelbi?" "You are Lord, You are Father and Saviour, You are gracious and kind and loving." "Shelbi who am I?" "You are the one who comes to bring life and life abundantly. You bring hope to the hopeless." "Shelbi, Who am I?" "Lord, you are Love." "Now go and abide in me."

Jesus wants these girls. He longs to love them. He longs to bring them hope and joy. Who will bring the light to their darkness?

"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound" -Isaiah 61:1

(quoted again in Luke 4:18)